How Far Is Too Far?
by the-human-error
Summary: G1: Laura, Spike's troublesome cousin, just doesn't know when to stop. She's pissed off most of the Autobots, now she's moving on to the Decepticons. Rated T for language, may change later...


Some complete randomness to portray my boredom...

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. And I don't actually hate Bombshell. He's awesome.

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Laura spun on her chair in the communications room.

Her uncle was busy inputting codes into Teletraan 1, and she was BORED.

She heard the door slide open, and looked over to see her cousin, Spike, his girlfriend, Carly, and his best friend, Bumblebee enter.

"Laura, how're you going?" Carly asked, beaming.

"How do you think I'm going?" she huffed, glaring at the blond. "I'm being babysat, and there's _nothing to do!_"

"Well," said her uncle Sparkplug. "That's what you get for helping the twins with their pranks."

"Ironhide deserved it," she glowered.

"Ironhide disagrees," Bumblebee put in cheerfully. "Although I think pink suits him, personally."

Spike sniggered, and Carly elbowed him.

"It _was_ bad timing, Laura," she chastised her friend. She was always telling her off. "He was about to go on a date with Chromia."

"I know," the prankster sniggered wickedly, to the shocked expressions of everyone.

"You knew? Then why tempt fate?" Spike asked, aghast. Everybody knew how anal Ironhide could get when it came to looking manly for his girl. "Chromia is _never_ going to let him forget this!"

"It was cruel," Sparkplug agreed. "And now you're paying the price. Be glad Optimus didn't send you to the brig with the twins."

She glared at her uncle. "You know he wouldn't. Humans would freeze in that temperature, and Optimus Prime _loves_ humans." She rolled her eyes.

"Be glad he does, or we'd be squished!" Carly told her off. "You shouldn't take advantage of our friends. You seem to be _trying_ to annoy everyone."

Carly was cut off mid rant by Teletraan 1's warning signal.

'DECEPTICON ACTIVITY DETECTED!'

Laura leapt to her feet, as the Autobots came pouring in. You could always trust the decepticons to liven up your day. Well, as far as trusting decepticons went.

"Teletraan 1, report!" Optimus ordered, and immediately a picture flickered onto the screen.

The Insecticons, Seekers and Coneheads were raiding a power plant only a couple of kilometers away.

"Autobots! Roll out!" the leader ordered. "Laura, you stay here with Red Alert."

Spike and Carly jumped into Bumblebee, leaving Laura in the dust. Even Jazz gave Sparkplug a lift, but it was obvious they didn't want Laura along to get in the way.

"Sucks," she kicked the ground, and looked over at Red Alert, who was ignoring her, focusing completely on tracing the decepticons.

"Psst!" she heard, and looked over towards the door.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were gesturing for her to follow.

Silently, sparing another glance to Red Alert, she snuck out.

"They let you out?" she whispered, a grin on her face.

"They _need_ us, whenever there's deceptibums to trash," Sunstreaker sniggered, and they transformed.

"What are you waiting for," Sideswipe said, his passenger door opening. "Get in!"

She obeyed eagerly, not mentioning Optimus had specifically told her to remain behind, and they set off after the rest of the Autobots.

Sideswipe barely stopped at the edge of the scene to let Laura out, before him and his brother raced in to join the fray.

She noticed with barely concealed amusement a pink Ironhide trying to pop the head off the Conehead he had in a headlock. It was Dirge. Again.

"Idiot," she muttered. "If you can _fly, _why would you fight on the ground? He's bound to get killed."

"Good point," a deep raspy voice spoke from behind her. She spun around to find the Insecticon, Bombshell's gun in her face. "Perhaps you can ask him in the afterlife."

"Nonononono," she held her arms up in front of her, in a big X. "YOU are not going to kill me," she said, sounding definite.

"Oh?" he asked, amused at her nerve. "Why is that?"

"If I'm going to be killed or eaten by an Insecticon, it's going to be Kickback," she glared at him.

Bombshell looked shocked. "Why Kickback?"

"Kickback's _cool_!" she stressed. "What would I say to my friends if I was killed by _you?"_

Bombshell let out a growl, insulted, and powered up his weapon.

"I'll haunt you!" she shouted, just as he was about to fire.

"Hold your fire," Kickback said from behind Bombshell, who obeyed, grudgingly. "Repeat what you just said, human," the cricket-con ordered, smirking at his brother.

"I'll haunt you?" she grinned.

"Before that," he pointed his own gun at her, just to let her know not to mess with him.

"See? This is what I mean," she gestured towards the Insecticon now targeting her, and looking at Bombshell. "Kickback's so cool!"

"Shut up," Bombshell seemed to be sulking, and stomped off, shouting over his shoulder. "You eat her, Kickback. She seems to be disfunctioning anyway."

She looked back at the Insecticon now eyeing her with amusement and confusion. "Was it something I said?"

"Who are you, human?" he addressed her. "And how do you know us by name?"

She shrugged. "I'm with the Autobots, although the only ones I like are the twins and occasionally Wheeljack. What?" she asked, concerned at the wicked grin he was now bearing.

"I think we just found ourselves a hostage," he laughed. "And since you think I'm so cool, you'll behave, now, won't you?"

She nodded, her eyes wide, as he grabbed her, pointing his gun at her head.

"Has that thing got a safety lock?" she asked as he dragged her into the fray. "You don't want to kill your hostage, right?"

"Insecticons don't know the meaning of 'safety,'" he laughed, then began to shout, loud enough for all the present mechs to hear him. "Listen up, Autobrats! I have your human pet! Retreat now, if you want her to live!"

All the Autobot's froze, Ironhide dropping Dirge's head to the ground, and peering up at them.

"Spike?" he called, uncertainly.

"It's Laura, you idiot!" she shouted at the pink mech. "Is that paint job making you confuse everyone else's gender as well as your own?"

He seemed to clench his fists. "Take her! Kill her! Make it painful!"

"Ironhide! That's enough!" Optimus called over the top of him. "Autobots, lower your weapons. What do you want, Kickback?"

"Retreat, now," Starscream cut over the top of the Insecticon. "Or we will kill her."

"How do we know you won't kill her anyway?" Jazz called out.

"You'll just have to take our word for it," Starscream cackled.

Optimus let out a sigh. "Autobots, retreat!"

They obeyed, the twins somewhat hesitantly. I was obvious they blamed themselves, but she waved them of cheerfully.

Laura looked up at her Insecticon captor hopefully. "So, hostage, huh? That means I live, right?"

He nodded, reassuring her somewhat, before walking over to the half destroyed power plant, and sitting her next to the door, while they began to get on with filling up the energon cubes. She noticed, with amusement the Insecticons were eating about as much as they were harvesting.

Starscream stood over her, watching the progress lazily, either missing or ignoring the Insecticon's behavior, but probably the first.

"So… Screamer" she said, kicking his foot.

He ignored her, but his cheek twitched.

"How's Megs?" she asked him, as if making light conversation. He looked at her, aghast.

"What did you call him?" he rasped.

"So you _are_ talking to me," she rolled her eyes. "And here I was, thinking I wasn't worthy of your attention."

"You're not," he growled, leaning closer to her.

"Then why are you talking to me?" she asked, and he glared at her, his face an inch from hers.

He let out a deep snarl, obviously trying to get at least _some_ show of fear out of her.

Catching on, she did the opposite, putting on a dreamy face.

"You're kinda cute, Starscream," she whispered, leaning forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

He leapt backwards with a shriek, and fell on his aft.

"What's wrong Starscream, _scream_?" Shrapnel regarded the Air Commander, who was now eyeing the human girl in horror, pointing his null ray at it. "Afraid of a measly human, _human_?"

"She – she _kissed_ me!" he explained, outraged.

"That's a lie! _He _kissed _me_!" Laura shouted, wiping off the side of her cheek dramatically. "What, Screamer, couldn't you get a cybertronian girl?"

The others stared to snigger, immediately slacking off to watch the row.

"That's it, girl! You die now!" Starscream shouted, firing his null ray at her, but she leapt out of the way, laughing.

"Is this how you treat all the girls who turn you down, Screamer?" she laughed at him. "No wonder you don't have a girlfriend!"

"How do you know I don't?" he shouted, firing again.

"Oi, Thundercracker! Has Starscream got a girlfriend?" she asked loudly, dodging another shot. "Or a boyfriend for that matter?"

Thundercracker shook his head, bent over double with laughter, Skywarp on the ground in mirth.

Starscream let out another cry of outrage, firing off enough blasts to bring half the wall down.

Kickback stepped forward, picking up the human to shield it from the energy blasts. He had decided over the last couple of minutes he'd rather like to keep it.

"Give me the human, Insecticon," Starscream growled, advancing on them.

"No," he glared at the jet. "_I_ caught her, she's _my_ hostage."

He raised his null ray pointing it at the cricket, but Shrapnel and Bombshell raised their weapons in response.

Growling, Starscream lowered his weapon.

"Fine, keep her! You'll only have to hand her over to Megatron in the end, anyway," Starscream glared at the fleshbag in their midst. "Are you afraid, human? You are about to meet the most ruthless decepticon in the universe!"

She shrugged. "Meh."

Starscream growled, obviously not getting a rise out of her, and turned his back, giving Skywarp a kick.

"Get up, you worthless pile of slag," he hissed. "Everybody, grab as many energon cubes as you can, and let's get out of here. Ramjet, you carry the human."

"Oh, hell no!" Laura shouted at the seeker's back. "I'm not getting in a conehead! Have you seen their flying?"

"Hey!" Ramjet shouted, Thrust glowering just as much.

"You can't argue! Dirge flew into a freaking cliff just last week! I was there," she stated coldly. "I want Thundercracker. At least he's _good_ at flying."

"What about me?" Skywarp complained, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"You do too many spins for my liking," she told him, her voice laced with amusement. "And if you warped with me inside you, I might turn inside out or something."

"Thundercracker, take the human before I shoot her," Starscream growled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Back at the decepticon base, Thundercracker let her out, before transforming, and picking her up gently. He regarded her with curiosity.

"Why aren't you scared of us?" Skywarp took the words out of his mouth, peering closely at her.

She shrugged. "The autobots call me suicidal."

"Give her back," Kickback ordered, holding his hand out to receive her. Thundercracker complied, carefully.

"Was it you who painted Ironhide?" Kickback asked her, both seekers still watching her intently.

"Yeah," she laughed. "You should have seen his face! He was in recharge, just before a date with his girlfriend, and he didn't lock his door. He was practically asking for it."

Skywarp sniggered. "I'd love to paint Starscream pink."

Laura grinned at him. "A mech after my own heart."

"Let's get going, _going_" Shrapnel glanced over his shoulder, leading the group out of the loading bay, where the two remaining coneheads were stretching out their joints from their clumsy landing, and getting ready to move the energon into storage. "It wouldn't do to be late for a report to Megatron, _tron._"

"Shrapnel," Megatron addressed him in a calm voice, one that he usually saved for before he punished Starscream. "What is that fleshling doing in my base?"

"We have a hostage, Lord Megatron, _tron,_" Shrapnel explained. "It is one of the Autobot's, _bot's._"

"Ah, I see," Megatron murmured thoughtfully, stroking a finger down his chin. "Excellent. Human, what is your name?"

"Laura, resident hostage, reporting for duty," she introduced herself cheerfully.

He watched her guardedly. "Why do you show no fear? Do you not understand where you are?" he asked her. Something was wrong here… very wrong…

"I understand, Megatron, sir," she assured him. "I am in the decepticon base. I show no fear because I feel no fear."

"And why is that?" he frowned.

"Well," she shrugged. "I was just thinking this morning about how boring my life was. I'm sure you guys will come up with _all sorts_ of ways to torture me."

"You wish to be tortured?" he asked her, amused. "I'm sure that can be arranged. But I must ask… Most other humans fear both pain and death. Why is it that you fear neither?"

"Maybe I'm used to them?" she cocked her head at him. "I'm kind of morbid."

"Can I keep her?" Kickback begged.

"You mean eat her, right?" Bombshell corrected in disbelief.

"Nah, I wanna keep her. Can I Shrapnel?" he asked again. "At least until we need her?"

Megatron growled.

"The hostage will remain here," he growled, annoyed Kickback was undermining him by asking Shrapnel for permission. "Starscream can baby sit her."

"But he'll kill her. You won't be able to use her if that idiot loses his temper," Kickback insisted.

"Do you even remember the last half hour?" Laura looked up at her captor. "Screamy Boy's the worst shot in the Galaxy. I'd be more afraid of freaking Cliffjumper, and _that's _saying something."

"Shut up!" Starscream shouted from behind Megatron, pushing past him to aim his null ray once again at her head.

"Ah, the null ray: A highly concentrated beam of magnetism capable of stopping any electrical device. Tell me Starscream, do I look electronic?" she sneered.

Starscream froze. "Why didn't you say anything before!" he shouted. "I was firing off rounds of this thing at you! You waste of energon!"

"Is it _my_ job to tell you about your own weapons?" she turned back to the decepticon leader, who was watching the scene with unbridled amusement. "You want to leave me with this idiot?"

"Very well, human," Megatron let out a laugh. "I admit, Starscream has proven to be as unqualified for this job as most others I give him. I will keep tabs on you myself."

"But Megatron!" Starscream reacted to the jab immediately.

"Silence, Starscream! Go and tell the coneheads they have the rest of the day off. You will be taking over their duties."

"But-"

"Do it _now, _before I decide to send you to the brig instead!" he growled, before holding his hand out to Kickback. "The human," he ordered.

He dropped her sadly into his leaders hand.

"Human's need to be fed almost as much as Insecticons," he informed Megatron. "I doubt you have any of the means to care for her for an extended period of time."

"Soundwave, send Rumble and Frenzy to acquire human nutrients. Skywarp, assist them," he turned his attention back to the human now sitting cross legged in his palm. "Are there any other things you will need to survive?"

"Water?" she hazarded.

"We are surrounded by it," Megatron said impatiently. "Or did you not notice?"

"That's salt water. Human's can't use that as a means of hydration. We need freshwater."

"Very well, Rumble, take note of this. Anything else?" Megatron prodded her, and she swatted his finger away.

"Perhaps a blanket? I'll catch hypothermia and die if I get too cold," she explained. "And you're going to get extremely annoyed if you keep me indoors with no toilets or showers or anything."

"What is the purpose of a 'toilet?'" he hazarded.

"Eh… Human waste disposal?" she explained, used to these sorts of questions from the autobots.

"Disgusting," he muttered. "You will be supplied with a bucket."

"Get me toilet paper," she told Rumble, who looked at her strangely, but shrugged. "Thanks guys, you're the best," she gave them the thumbs up.

"What's wrong with this human?" she heard Rumble ask his twin.

"Beats me," Frenzy replied, just as confused.

Laura sat on Megatron's desk, swinging her legs, and staring up at her captor. The decepticon leader had been surprisingly… nice, if that was possible.

"So… can I help you out with any information or anything?" Laura asked him.

"Why would you be willing to give me information on your friends, the autobots?" he narrowed his eyes. "Anything you say could lead us into a trap."

She shrugged. "Hey, if you don't want to believe me, that's fine. But I heard Tracks saying Soundwave can read minds, isn't that true? Or is it just a myth? No one's been able to verify if it's even possible."

"Hmm, it is true. Soundwave's hearing is so perceptive he can pick up brainwaves," Megatron explained. "But this does not explain why you are so willing to sell out the autobots."

"I hate most of them," she huffed. "Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Wheeljack are the only ones who I even like, and that's only some of the time."

"Why do you hate them?" Megatron asked curiously. "You do realize they're trying to save your race?"

"Yes, I understand. I wish you wouldn't keep treating me like a simpleton," she glared at him, then sighed. "It's just… they're so… optimistic. Although I couldn't really imagine an autobot called Pessimus Prime." – Megatron let out a bark of laughter – "But you know what they're like, seriously! 'Human's are innocent creatures, we need to protect them,'" she said, imitating Prime's voice so well Megatron had to smile. "Humans are _not_ innocent. They're more evil than any decepticon."

"Oh really?" Megatron asked, and she nodded definitively.

"They just lack the fire power, although they're catching up with the nuclear weapons and atom bombs. We were given this planet full of flora and fauna, we've already eaten and hunted to extinction hundreds of species, we've destroyed forests, and now we're suffering the effects with the diminishing ozone layer due to all our pollution."

"You understand I mean to drain this planet dry of energy, to restore my own planet, Cybertron?" he was looking at her like she was an idiot!

"Give humankind another few thousand years and we'd drain this planet dry anyway, and not to restore _any_thing. I'd rather it was used to bring back Cybertron than be destroyed for nothing."

"How selfless," he said snidely. Obviously, it wasn't a compliment.

"It's more spite than selflessness," she shrugged. "I hate people."

"Why?"

"Bad experiences," she looked away. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"You _will_ tell me," Megatron insisted. "Be it by your own will, or more painful methods."

Laura yawned and stretched, a bone popping in her shoulder.

"I didn't get on very well with my parents for starters," she explained, giving in easily. She's heard about the machine Soundwave had used on Astoria, not that it helped them much against her, but still. "They were kind of abusive. All the kids in my school were bastards as well, all the way up to college. All the guys I went out with were complete losers, pretty much everyone I've met I've sooner or later hated."

"So you hate humans, and autobots, yet Optimus Prime keeps you around? Why is this?"

"Well," she sighed. "You know Sparkplug and Spike? They're the first humans the autobots came in contact with, well, they're my extended family. Not that I'm close to them or anything. But when my parents kicked me out, Uncle Sparkplug _insisted_ I come stay with him, and he's had someone watching me at all times. I even have to bunk with freaking _Moonracer, _of all the femmes," she snorted in dismissal. "Now there's the most up herself piece of slag I've ever met."

"You use our curse words," Megatron noted.

"I've been hanging out with the twins," she explained. "They're the most fun I can get out of the autobot base. We go around pranking whoever we can however we can."

"You will like Rumble and Frenzy," he told her, amused. "I think I will keep you around, little human. I'm sure it would be bruising to the autobots egos to find we had our own little cheerleader."

"Do I get pom poms?" she asked sarcastically.

"I think I can arrange that," he teased her. "Now, you said you have information on the autobots?"

"Yep, what do you want to know? They seem to think you don't know where their base is," she offered.

Their meeting was interrupted after about an hour or so of questions and answers by a knock at the door.

"Hey boss, we've got the human's things," Frenzy called through the door.

Megatron opened the door to see both cassettes, Skywarp _and_ Thundercracker crowded around his quarters.

"What are you doing here, Thundercracker? I don't remember assigning you to this mission."

"I was wondering if I could see the human, Lord Megatron," he answered nervously.

"Yo Thunder!" Laura waved cheerfully from the desk top.

"Wow, you've still got all your limbs and everything!" Skywarp grinned.

"_And_ they're attached," she bragged.

Megatron took the bag off Skywarp, and looked inside to see various types of food and bottled liquid.

"Excellent," he said to himself, and dumped the bag next to her on the desk.

She jumped at it eager to see what they brought her.

"Awesome, Oreos! I LOVE you guys!" she called from inside the bag.

She looked up, as Megatron peered in the sack, and laughed, embarrassed.

"Hey, I just like Oreos…" she said, her hand up in defense.

He reached in, and lifted her out of the bag, handing her to Skywarp.

"Be careful with her," he ordered his seeker. "She will be staying a while."

Rumble lifted up his own parcel. "We've got her a blanket as you said."

Megatron took the quilt, and threw it on his own berth.

"Excellent. I want each of you four to make the human at home," he ordered. "Anyone who wishes to harm her will answer to me. Return her by 10pm."

"Wow, we actually got her," Thundercracker grinned at Skywarp.

Laura, however, was trying to get the casetticon's attention.

"Oi! Rumble, Frenzy! Megatron says you do a bit of pranking, yeah?" she called from between the blue jets fingers.

"What's it to ya?" Rumble asked, suspiciously.

"Hey, I do pranks too," Skywarp offered, but the cassettes laughed.

"Whatever Warpy, all you do is spike people's energon with sugar," Frenzy mocked.

"Come up with something original," Rumble added.

"But that doesn't answer the question of _why_ you want to know about this, human," Frenzy looked up at the teenage girl. "And why Megatron told you that in the first place."

"She painted Ironhide pink," Thundercracker explained, making the cassetticons crack up in laughter.

"Megatron said I'd get along with you two. I take it he doesn't mind your pranks?" Laura prodded.

"As long as no one's seriously injured, and we don't target him, he thinks it's a better way for us to spend our time than organizing a coup," Rumble explained. "You just have to make sure there's no hard evidence it was you, or the prankee will kill ya."

"I think I'm going to like this place…" Laura smirked wickedly.

"What's the best prank you've pulled?" Thundercracker asked her, curiously.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, before grinning.

"You know Beachcomber?" she asked.

"Nature boy? Yeah," Skywarp answered, as the others nodded eagerly.

"Well, I got hold of a box of kittens, snuck in while he was in recharge, and put them all over him, and _inside_ his armor," she giggled. "He couldn't move until Spike came and pulled them all out, he was afraid of squashing them… Best part of it was, they were all really young, so they weren't toilet trained or anything. They were pissing and crapping inside of him for about half a day before someone found him."

Skywarp burst out in laughter, but the twins seemed a little creeped.

"That would feel so gross… Imagine those meatbag things _squishing_ inside of you… ugh," Frenzy shivered animatedly, and his twin agreed.

"What else?" Thundercracker asked with interest. This human was a creative little creature.

"Well, I convinced Grimlock that Mirage was in love with him, fake love letters and all," she sniggered. "Mirage has taken to disappearing whenever any of the dinobots enter the room. I also convinced Grimlock to call Ratchet 'Mummy.' Ratchet wasn't impressed."

"That gives me an idea," Frenzy looked to his twin, a wicked gleam in his eye. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Stunticon / Constructicon love triangle?" Rumble countered.

"Perfect," Rumble sniggered, then looked back to the human. "Any more ideas?"

"Time to share some of your own, I think," she grinned back.

"Well, there's always the old 'switcheroo,' just a splash of paint and only Soundwave can tell us apart," Frenzy grinned at his twin, who seemed a mirror image.

"I hate it when you guys do that!" Skywarp groaned.

"Hey, why don't you seekers ever do that?" Laura asked them.

"Because it's a stupid idea?" Skywarp retorted. "I'd rather prank someone else, rather than myself."

"What if one of you knocked out Starscream, painted him Skywarp's colors, and they could paint you Starscream's… If you could get all the others in on it, it'd be great. We could try to convince him he's you," the human femme said excitedly. "If I could get Megatron in on it, it'd be easy to get the others to back it up."

"This girl's a genius," Skywarp laughed.

"So," Laura said, happy she'd made some new friends. Of sorts. "Is there anyone else who's off limits?"

"Barring us, no," Frenzy answered joyfully. "We've even pranked Soundwave."

"What? When?" Skywarp asked in alarm. "I've never managed that!"

"We prank our own family, but we don't make it public," Rumble explained, then shot a glance to their new conspirator. "Don't prank Soundwave or _any_ of the cassettes unless you have our okay."

"Yes, sir!" she saluted him. "I don't think I'd ever prank Ravage, anyhow. He's kinda vicious, incase you haven't noticed."

"Don't tell him that!" Frenzy warned her. "It'll go to his head."

"And I've always thought Soundwave was pretty cool…" she said offhandedly, to the delight of the cassettes, and the shock of the seekers.

"Nobody like's Soundwave!" Skywarp said, aghast.

"Hey!" the cassettes both shouted, angrily.

"Except for the cassettes," Thundercracker amended.

"I like him," Laura insisted. "He's like a cool version of Blaster."

"I thought all the autobots liked Blaster," Thundercracker argued. "It seems that way."

"_They_ do. I think he's… overly happy. And egotistical. And his music sucks. And his cassettes are antisocial," she complained.

"They're nothing but a cheap rip off of us," Rumble said, proudly.

"You can tell," she grinned. "Who named them, seriously… Ramhorn? It's as bad as Ramjet…"

Frenzy sniggered.

"Well, here we are," Skywarp announced. "This, my human friend, is the rec room."

He dramatically opened the door, revealing the room behind.

Thrust and Ramjet were at one table seemingly drinking away their sorrows after the loss of Dirge.

Astrotrain and Blitzwing were at another table having a serious conversation.

A couple of stunticons and constructicons seemed to be having a brawl near the back of the room.

This was going to be so much fun…

Her new decepticon friends introduced her to the rest of the present mechs, barring the ones already fighting – she may be suicidal, but the others weren't.

Astrotrain and Blitzwing seemed unimpressed with the human organic.

"Skywarp, why did you bring that fleshwad in here?" Astrotrain asked in disgust.

"You won't want Megatron to find that," Blitzwing warned him, but the black and purple seeker just laughed.

"Megatron's the one who lent her to me. She's really cool, and she's going to be our mascot," Skywarp said, holding her up proudly for scrutiny.

"What?" they both asked, simultaneously.

"Why do we need a mascot? Why cant we just use a cassette or something?" Blitzwing asked, confused, and unaware of the two fuming cassetticons y his feet.

"I heard that, you slag head!" Rumble shouted angrily.

"Watch your back, or you'll find your joints filled with pissing kittens!" Frenzy threatened.

"What?" Astrotrain said in shock. He'd never heard of such a ridiculous threat. "If you keep spouting such nonsense I'll just step on you."

"Soundwave would kick your fat ass if you did that," the organic noted.

"Did you just address us?" Blitzwing glared at the creature.

"Did you just call me _fat?_" Astrotrain asked, insulted.

"I suppose it's all the bulk from _another_ alternate mode. What, couldn't you make up your mind? Or did your other modes just not match up to everyone elses?" Laura shot at them.

"How dare you-" Astrotrain started, but the human cut over him.

"Blitzwing I can understand, Tanks are _cool. _But a _train_? Was your creator running out of ideas or something? Or did he just expect there to be train tracks _everywhere_ you went? What a useless form!"

Even the constructicons and stunticons stopped their fight to come and see the human who dared insult the egotistical triple changer.

"And what an _original _name. 'Astrotrain.' Pah! Don't make me gag!" Laura finished off her rant.

"Who is this kid?" Dead End asked Breakdown, but he just shrugged.

"Dead End!" the human grinned, now ignoring Astrotrain. "My name's Laura. Official decepticon cheerleader, hired by the great and almighty Megatron. Hows Mixmaster?" she asked, looking around to note the constructicon wasn't present.

"How would I know?" he grumbled. "Ask Bonecrusher or Hook."

"Oh, sorry! I thought… Nevermind!" she said nervously. "Have a fantastic day, Dead End! It could be your last."

"Get me outta here," she whispered to Skywarp, noting Astrotrain was loading his gun, surrounded by either confused or angry mechs.

It seemed the constructicons did not like the implication of one of their own socializing with a stunticon like Dead End.

Once outside, her 'friends' looked at her confused.

"Don't you know Mixmaster's a constructicon? I thought you knew all of us?" Thundercracker asked her, confused.

"Rumble and Frenzy want to make a constructicon/stunticon love triangle, right? That's called laying the foundations for a long term prank," she explained to the clueless mechs, going into more detail when they didn't seem to be getting it. "Look, to start something like this off, you have to make ties between the two parties, just asking them where the other is or whatever. Then, once a connection is established, you start with the more direct attacks, like anonymous love letters. Then, once the base is down, but before it's too far established, you introduce a third party. Get it?"

"Whoa… You've got this all sorted out…" Rumble stared up at her, amazed.

"Well, I _have_ done this before," she rolled her eyes. "Hey, does Soundwave ever help you out with this sort of thing?"

"Rarely. Unless something has been done against himself, personally, he prefers to stay out of it," Frenzy explained.

"Shame. He'd be able to edit recordings of the mechs in question to saying whatever we want," she sighed. "At least, that scrap heap Blaster can. And I bet Soundwave's ten times better than – Hey look! My favorite decepti-kitty!"

They all blinked, then looked down the hall at a highly insulted Ravage.

Suddenly, the twins burst out laughing.

"Decepti-kitty!" they high fived each other, making Ravage growl.

"Hey, come on kitty cat! Don't you want to meet Megatron's new pet?" Frenzy called, ushering him over.

The feline stalked over, curiously peering up at the human in Skywarp's hands.

"Put me down?" she begged the dark seeker.

He obeyed, but not without giving a warning.

"You don't want to insult Ravage. He'll tear you apart," Skywarp told her, placing her just out of the panther's reach.

"I know. So I finally get to meet the most fearsome of the cassettes?" she sighed, excited.

"Hey!" the twins complained in unison.

"Sorry guys, but it's true," she grinned, over her shoulder, then turned back to the cat. "You don't have teeth and claws like Ravage here, after all."

"At least we can _talk_," Rumble said, put out.

She looked at him, wide eyed.

"Ravage doesn't _need _to talk. He could kill a human in two seconds flat," the cat seemed to hold himself a little higher. "I'm not saying you are less, or anything. You both have amazing abilities. They're just different."

"Explain," Frenzy frowned at her. He'd just started to like this chick, and now she liked _Ravage_ best? How unfair!

"Well, Ravage can rip and tear and shred. He's really good with close combat. I've seen it on replays on Teletraan 1. You, Rumble, have the amazing ability to cause widespread damage to the environment. Frenzy, your hypersonic screech can fry anyone's circuits if they even step within your range. Not to mention you both have wicked aim, unlike a certain Air Commander we all know and love," she poked her tongue out. "Then there's Laserbeak and Buzzsaw. They have the obvious advantage of being airborne, and their size makes them ideal for getting into smaller areas unseen, and cause a whole slag-load of turmoil. I haven't seen much of Ratbat, but I hear he's pretty damn wicked too," she said dreamily.

"You know a lot about my cassettes," a monotone voice called out from behind her. She jumped, and turned to see Soundwave standing behind her.

She grinned up at the mech towering over her. She'd seen him when she was first brought to the decepticon HQ, but she hadn't a chance to talk to him yet.

"Hey there, sexy," she winked at him.

Thundercracker grabbed her, and held her safely away from the blue and white mech.

"She's been saying stuff like that all day. Ignore her," the blue seeker defended her.

Ravage moved over to his creator's side, and looked up at her in a confused manner. Apparently, he hadn't made his mind up about her yet, and decided distance was the best remedy.

Rumble, however, was sniggering, much to the chagrin of Soundwave.

"Rumble, Frenzy: Return," he ordered, and they looked up at him, dismayed.

"Come on, Soundwave," Frenzy cried out. "We haven't done anything wrong!"

"Yeah!" Rumble agreed, his humor lost. "Besides, Megatron put us four in charge of getting her settled. We can't disobey a direct order!"

Soundwave's visor flashed in irritation. "Understood. Return immediately after," he ordered, and walked off, Ravage at his heel.

"Does he hate me?" Laura asked Rumble, depressed.

"Well, you didn't help by mocking him," Thundercracker put in.

"Yeah, Soundwave's sensitive," Frenzy said seriously, making Skywarp crack up with laughter. He quickly shut up at the glares from the cassettes.

"Well, I wasn't mocking him," Laura looked down at the cassettes. "Not completely. Well, I _was_ joking, but he _is_ kind of sexy."

"I did _not_ want to know that," Skywarp said, disgusted.

She poked her tongue out at him.

"Tell him I didn't mean it, ok?" she begged the cassettes. "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings or anything…"

This triggered another giggle from Skywarp.

"We'll put in a good word for you," Rumble shrugged. "Where to next?"

She shrugged, and looked up to the seekers.

"Who haven't I insulted yet?"

--

...Yeah...

I have no idea where I'm taking this, or IF I'll take it anywhere.

Laura may end up in a romance, or she may end up being squished for annoying the wrong mech. Or Kickback could kidnap her and clone her...

This is fanfiction, anything can happen...

if you WANT this to continue...

REVIEW!!

Rumble: Just do it

Frenzy: There's cookies

Rumble: Skywarp tried to 'spike' them with sugar, but what he doesn't realise-

Frenzy: -is that makes them taste better...


End file.
